“Toad Speech—Kristine Ree
So I’m sitting at school the other day right, minding my own business, not hurting anyone. Enjoying one of my hard earned spares. Relaxing after the strain and mental pressure of the day full of Maths equations and Chemical formula’s. When all of a sudden our nice quiet break was rudely interrupted by a true horror! I fear beyond your wildest imagination! What was this horror which causes such disruption amongst a group of teenage girls you ask? That’s right Ladies and Gentlemen it was … A QUEENSLAND CANE TOAD..!!!
Ok, so maybe it wasn’t a huge event in the grand scheme of things and maybe I was the only one who was really terrified, but the general disgust that this creature provoked was a mutual feeling.
By now you have probably guessed that I’m not a huge fan of the Toad, in fact, you could even go so far as to say that - I really DO NOT like them!
I’m sure every person in this room this evening would know the feeling, you dare to step foot outside at night and there they are! Warty bodies basking in the moonlight! Our least favourite poison bearing amphibians. That’s right, they’re poisonous! The venom of a cane toad contains 14 different chemicals. They’re like a hopping pharmacy, menacing our native flora and fauna, our native animals are dying due to the consumption of these foreign pests.
Perhaps a little history, the Queensland Cane Toad or Bufo Marinus was first introduced into Australia in 1935 by researchers at the Australian Bureau of Sugar Experimental Stations in North Queensland. The toads were introduced to eliminate the Cane beetle. Not only were the toads unsuccessful in containing the beetles, inevitably they escaped. These researchers had no idea of the vast environmental destruction these creatures would cause.
So I ask you, what can we do. I for one am willing to go to extreme measures to ensure the eradication of these pests and judging by the way they’re treated by the general public, I’m not the only one. Most stretches of bitumen are continually littered with a path of these deflated amphibians, which have met some less than compassionate drivers. Stories of golf clubs, cricket bats, Dettol, salt, fire even, and, of course the humble boot are just a few common treatments for toads.
Now, not for a moment am I saying that I agree with these sorts of cruel and harsh mistreatments, but there are more humane methods. Gassing and freezing is seen as much more expectable.
But for all of you out there who are like myself, and believe that a much more extensive measure is needed, there is hope. Our very own Queensland member of parliament Mr. Shane Knuth has come forward and urged Australian families to join the war on toads. He has suggested that a special day be designated for residents to hunt and kill what he calls one of the world's most disgusting creatures. He has pointed out that each female toad can produce up to 20,000 eggs. If even 3000 female toads were collected, this has the potential of eliminating 60 million toads from our environment.
I cannot even begin to express my happiness about this proposal. I can, however, see one small flaw, there are many of us, like myself, who truly despise the cane toad, however, would not like to have to go anywhere near them. This could make their collection slightly difficult. I do however wholeheartedly support this proposal and wish Mr. Knuth every success.
So Ladies and Gentlemen whatever your toad eradication strategy may be just so long as they’re gone it sounds good to me. So I ask you to join with me For a TOAD FREE tomorrow!”
KRISTINE REE
